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My full name is Sir Benedict Cumbercat. It came to be after the Sullivans sat down for a family meeting. The meeting had one order of business, and that was to name Yours Truly. I sat in the corner watching them as they argued for two hours. It was really boring.


Eventually, after some time, they seemed to agree, and they announced my name like they were introducing an important dignitary at a state banquet. Which is actually how I expect my name to always be announced.


Ever since that day, though, they have called me Benny, which is a completely different name, and is very confusing.


Also, all this talk of state banquets has made me hungry.

A few weeks ago, my humans - without consulting me - catnapped me from my chilled apartment life, put me in a box, and dumped me somewhere new. I hate new.


I loved that apartment - I spent my days there living my best life: mostly stretching, lounging, eating and playing. I suppose the humans will expect me to do the same sort of stuff at this new place. They can be a bit demanding, this lot.


The new place is big and scary - it's taken me weeks to sniff out all the different corners. The first night, I waited until someone left a door open and then I bolted.


It was hilarious, watching them all running around the neighbourhood for two hours, looking for me. Idiots didn't realise I was hiding in a bush, a few metres from the back door, the whole time. I strolled in when I was ready. I might do that again soon.


My humans move around like un-neutered tom cats. This is their third move since I rescued them from the shelter three years ago. And they come and go all the time. I have six humans who all claim to be my slaves, but I am angry at at least four of them, because they seem to live somewhere else sometimes.


Since moving, they have bought some new furniture. My favourite is a new chair which fits me perfectly, so obviously I've claimed it as my throne / scratching post.


Now we have been here for three weeks, I am considering taking a few days off from punishing them for making me move. I might stop scratching their new chair, or I might stop demanding food at 4 a.m.


Oh, wait! I have just discovered that I am famous (over 25,

000 followers on Instagram and over 17,000 "likes" on my last post!) so, I may have changed my mind. In fact, I am thinking of upping my demands. Now, someone get me some double cream...and a feather boa.

Follow me on Instagram @tuxedobenny

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